A Moments Respite

Standing at the window, cool breeze caressing my face
I ponder about life and where it is taking me
As I lean against the wall, taking in the gentle waft
My eyes fall on the reflection in the windowpane.
A stranger with lost and vacant look
Stared at me from the glass
As I gazed mindlessly, into eyes devoid of life and charm
Realisation struck – the stranger was me.

I try to shake of the feeling of melancholy
But cheer plays hide and seek as it eludes me
I switch on the TV and pretend to concentrate
But the light and figures does not mean anything.
As I watch the screen with unseeing eyes
I find the noose of miserable thoughts tightening around me.
Happiness looks like a distant destination
The journey towards it-long, tiresome and lonely.

My eyes fall on the packet of cigarettes someone left behind
And I remembered the days when cigarette was a part of me
My hand reached for it, but a promise made to a friend flashed by
A promise made a long time ago, maybe in my past life.
Brushing the thought aside, I lit the cigarette and inhaled
A funny feeling, a feeling of being watched
Inhaled again and all was well
Uneasiness took flight, calm settled in.
I know it’s a delusion and will not last long
But a moments respite- That’s all I crave for.

A Stranger is Born...

Lying down on the bed
Tears rolling down my cheeks
Silent sobs echoes around the room
No words escape my lips
As I raise my eyes to look at the sky
To seek you among the twinkling stars.

I cry for your comforting presence
I cry for your soothing words
I cry for you
Because you were my comfort
You were my rock
Your presence kept me alive
Even in the darkest moment.

I am sorry I let you down
I did not know I am so weak
Your love and care nurtured me
Your absence tortured me
But I still held on
Till I could bear no more
And break I did
In my weakest moment
Never to recover.

My desires are dead
My hopes no longer alive
I am waiting
Waiting for release
Release from this misery I feel
Release from this pain I bring to my loved ones
Release from everything around me
Release from my very being.

As the pain and hurt buried deep inside
Flows out every night
A part of me drains out.
As my soul mingles with the tears
A stranger is born
A stranger, you nor I recognize
A stranger who will live within me
Forever and ever..