Jul 24, 2015

Moving Along...

"Time heals everything" - oft repeated words.  By this definition, the void created by your loss should have been filled.  So why does every happiness feel inadequate. Why does the tinge of longing remain on the fringe of every joyous moment.  Why does every smile have a sliver of wistfulness.  Why does every achievement feel incomplete.  Why does shadow lurk behind every dream. Why does loneliness knock at my solitude. An emptiness, a void, a vacuum - Will it every be filled .  Questions galore, answers just out there, waiting for me to find.. Have I found them, maybe I have, maybe not - but I am glad things are as they are.

Glad because the void reminds me of  beautiful memories, uninhibited laughter, happier times. 
Times your soothing voice helped me sleep through nightmares 
Times your encouraging smile pushed me through when I felt everything falling apart
Times the sparkle in your eyes revealed your pranks as you tried to annoy me
Times you held me patiently as I shed pools of tears
Times you believed in me when I doubted myself
Times you fought to stay at my side when I shut the door
Times when you burst with laughter at my silly jokes
Times you beamed with pride at my little achievements
Times when I was just me.. because you stood by me.

Moving ahead, one step at a time, though I fervently wish you were right next to me - Encouraging me, guiding me, inspiring me - I know you are in a better place - A place filled with love, happiness, peace - Watching me, a smile on your lips, twinkle in your eyes and hands stretched to steady me, should I stumble.