Standing at the window, cool breeze caressing my face
I ponder about life and where it is taking me
As I lean against the wall, taking in the gentle waft
My eyes fall on the reflection in the windowpane.
A stranger with lost and vacant look
Stared at me from the glass
As I gazed mindlessly, into eyes devoid of life and charm
Realisation struck – the stranger was me.
I try to shake of the feeling of melancholy
But cheer plays hide and seek as it eludes me
I switch on the TV and pretend to concentrate
But the light and figures does not mean anything.
As I watch the screen with unseeing eyes
I find the noose of miserable thoughts tightening around me.
Happiness looks like a distant destination
The journey towards it-long, tiresome and lonely.
My eyes fall on the packet of cigarettes someone left behind
And I remembered the days when cigarette was a part of me
My hand reached for it, but a promise made to a friend flashed by
A promise made a long time ago, maybe in my past life.
Brushing the thought aside, I lit the cigarette and inhaled
A funny feeling, a feeling of being watched
Inhaled again and all was well
Uneasiness took flight, calm settled in.
I know it’s a delusion and will not last long
But a moments respite- That’s all I crave for.